So....... I am not sure what the reaction is supposed to be, when you receive a letter in the mail, notifying you of your required attendance for "labour & birthing 101" classes....but ill be frank, I shit myself!
In fact, I don't think i have stopped shitting myself about the class, that begins from 9.30am-4pm ALL DAY this Saturday. You see, I am not at the point in my pregnancy, where i am practically bursting at the seems and exhausted with discomfort, ready and eager to get this over and done with. I am yet to make peace with the idea of actually giving birth to this baby. It is still very much a "one day soon (but not too soon), Ill have to do that" kind of thought in the back of my mind.
And.... I also honestly believed (and would still like to be able to) that I could ignore the very fact of birth, right until I was actually about to do it, and then just "wing it".
I am not one of those mothers with a birth plan, nor do I have a natural, drug free birth desire. I am quite happy to arrive on the day, do as I am told, and take or not take all the drugs required to help me through this traumatic process.
Until that very moment, I would like to pretend that the birth part, doesn't exist. Only, these damn anti natal classes, are preventing me from hibernating from reality and its STRESSING ME OUT!!
Im not sure if it is just me, maybe some women like to be "fully informed", but you know, I did year 9 health- I have already seen the video, let's not do it again. I was terrified by the very idea of giving birth at 16, sitting with my girlfriends watching the video & thinking to myself "Oh my god, I am actually going to have to do this one day."
That was when the only thing I had in common with the woman giving birth was that we both had a vagina. Given that I now share much more in common- including a baby inside me- I can only assume that I will be seriously stressed if made to watch something like that all over again.
Don't get me wrong, I can't wait to hold my baby, feel the joy and love inside and relish in the very moment that we first connect. It is going to be very overwhelming, beautiful and amazing- I can only imagine. But, during the birth- I won't be reaching for any mirrors wanting to have a quick look, so please......spare me too many details this Saturday, 'cause just quietly (well, not too quietly)It scares the bejesus out of me.
x
No comments:
Post a Comment